!!!
For now, till 18th. Im going to suffer.
Tremendously, because im sitting beside HAFIZAH for EVERY SS AND ENGLISH LESSONS.[note the emphasis]
Since she DEDICATED a post to me. Here's 1 for her too. hoho
I must have been blind to sit there, knowing im gonna suffer for the rest of days till 18th.
Stupid Dexter. Irritant!! (:
NO. I WILL NOT LET YOU TOUCH MY POOH BEAR. OR I'LL CALL HIS NAME TOO!!!! OUT LOUD IN THE CLASS. =P
D _ _ _ _ _ _
You didn't notice me in sec 2? Im in the same class as you and you don't know?! i was sitting near chimpanzee/monkey all the while.
S _ _ _ _ _ _ _
AND YOU DIDN'T NOTICE ME?
Love is blind. Who admitted tt she still like him during mt ophir 2005 eh?!
haha. u kuku.
i love kukus. (:
------
I completed my homework today.
1 shot.
Even hwk due next week, all done.
I had to occupy myself.
on the verge of breaking something. but whatever it is. hoho.
i actually wanted to put " i loved today"
But i know if hafizah sees this.
She'll confirm say, it's because of her that im loving today.
there fore, in conclusion, magnitude of LM = square root of a(sq) + b (sq)
baboon. you.
HEE. nights.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
all alone. damnit
Stop comparing.
I hate comparisons.
And YOU should be glad for all you have.
You have a BOYFRIEND that will always accompany you wherever you go.
If he leaves school early, he'll wait for you.
If you have a course, he'll wait outside the building for you
If you quarrel with anyone, he'll give advice to you.
AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING HE DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER ABOUT YOU?
What about me?
I walk home from school everyday. or sometimes the bus with friends.
I'll walk that long stretch of road to exit the building after my course, ALONE.
If I quarrel with anyone. I go home and CRY to myself ALONE.
And you're telling me you're going through shit.
Im not even saying anything about this okay?
what do you want him to do?
make you count your steps to you door?
calculate your speed from your school to your house so that if he doesn't send you home one day he'll get the EXACT time to call you and ask if you're home or not?
You know what? One day, your turn to be afraid will come.
I don't wanna say anything else.
fuck. im going to HQ alone this thursday ALONE cos hafizah has HEATS. FOr my SSC.
tell me which MAGGOT has ever went for a course like this.
Yours truly.
I hate comparisons.
And YOU should be glad for all you have.
You have a BOYFRIEND that will always accompany you wherever you go.
If he leaves school early, he'll wait for you.
If you have a course, he'll wait outside the building for you
If you quarrel with anyone, he'll give advice to you.
AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING HE DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER ABOUT YOU?
What about me?
I walk home from school everyday. or sometimes the bus with friends.
I'll walk that long stretch of road to exit the building after my course, ALONE.
If I quarrel with anyone. I go home and CRY to myself ALONE.
And you're telling me you're going through shit.
Im not even saying anything about this okay?
what do you want him to do?
make you count your steps to you door?
calculate your speed from your school to your house so that if he doesn't send you home one day he'll get the EXACT time to call you and ask if you're home or not?
You know what? One day, your turn to be afraid will come.
I don't wanna say anything else.
fuck. im going to HQ alone this thursday ALONE cos hafizah has HEATS. FOr my SSC.
tell me which MAGGOT has ever went for a course like this.
Yours truly.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
the finale
He found out that she was a pro-cutter.
He had no idea how to make her stop until finally one day, she came barging in the room, knowing that he had hid all her razor blades.
"You can live without all those crap," he said, making her look into his eyes.
She began to cry. "It's my only way.."
He gave her kiss on her lips and left the room.
Then, he came back, with a steak knife.He held the knife high.
Tears were running down his face.
"You think it's so good." He said. "You think it's so fucking good for you?"
He brought the knife and tore his wrists open.
He just looked at them as the blood poured out.
He then looked at her, tears pouring down her cheeks.
"Nothing good can come from it.." He said.
"Brother!" his brother screamed.
He fell to the floor. His wrists were bleeding profusely and his face was totally pale.
conclude my mood.
He had no idea how to make her stop until finally one day, she came barging in the room, knowing that he had hid all her razor blades.
"You can live without all those crap," he said, making her look into his eyes.
She began to cry. "It's my only way.."
He gave her kiss on her lips and left the room.
Then, he came back, with a steak knife.He held the knife high.
Tears were running down his face.
"You think it's so good." He said. "You think it's so fucking good for you?"
He brought the knife and tore his wrists open.
He just looked at them as the blood poured out.
He then looked at her, tears pouring down her cheeks.
"Nothing good can come from it.." He said.
"Brother!" his brother screamed.
He fell to the floor. His wrists were bleeding profusely and his face was totally pale.
conclude my mood.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
reflected
I was reflecting on my past this morning while i was waiting at the bus terminal.
And i thought about some of my seniors. Those that i hated like cockroaches.
I dont wanna say names. but i'll never forget what they said to me. stupid racist people.
Just because i am, and still the only cheena in the part c05/d06. They were racist. They showed favouritism.
And now, my fucking teachers show all these crap too. Due to the fact that there's only 2 cheena girls that take literature, which is me and sharlene, we always feel as if we are segregated from them. Not saying that we're anti-social.
And if we mix with the guys. SOME will say we're trying to flirt. And for sharlene, it's even worst. Some called her cheap.
We're in a co-ed school. With different races of people in it.
But still, i sense the bias-ness.
I don't wanna go into politics. I'll go crazy. Just like fizah.
Im going through tonnes of problems and troubles in school. Especially 'stress'. I'm not the only one. But i am the only one in some ways.
I always wish that someone is there. But hell no. Just as i wish to tell my parents or even friends. It's hard to commuciate with my parents about this stuffs. Because i sensed a barrier in between us whenever we come to this topic. And for friends, I have some darn wonderful ones that will go broadcasting, adding some sugar and spice. It's like a plain water when you give to them, but when it comes back. it's black.
I have so many wonderful friends. I know.
But get this in your head.
None appreciates. I've realised.
And also. An introvert and an extrovert should never be friends.
Just like me and her.
I still can't believe the fact that i am an INtrovert.
Shit, I m suicidal again.
Stupid fucked up life.
But then again, there's hope. my super small glimpse of hope.
[a stone had been dropped into an abyss and i waited for its interminable fall. im that stone. and the only hope i clung on to, is to NEVER EVER reach the bottom.]
i am here regardless if you need me or not.
im still here. (:
And i thought about some of my seniors. Those that i hated like cockroaches.
I dont wanna say names. but i'll never forget what they said to me. stupid racist people.
Just because i am, and still the only cheena in the part c05/d06. They were racist. They showed favouritism.
And now, my fucking teachers show all these crap too. Due to the fact that there's only 2 cheena girls that take literature, which is me and sharlene, we always feel as if we are segregated from them. Not saying that we're anti-social.
And if we mix with the guys. SOME will say we're trying to flirt. And for sharlene, it's even worst. Some called her cheap.
We're in a co-ed school. With different races of people in it.
But still, i sense the bias-ness.
I don't wanna go into politics. I'll go crazy. Just like fizah.
Im going through tonnes of problems and troubles in school. Especially 'stress'. I'm not the only one. But i am the only one in some ways.
I always wish that someone is there. But hell no. Just as i wish to tell my parents or even friends. It's hard to commuciate with my parents about this stuffs. Because i sensed a barrier in between us whenever we come to this topic. And for friends, I have some darn wonderful ones that will go broadcasting, adding some sugar and spice. It's like a plain water when you give to them, but when it comes back. it's black.
I have so many wonderful friends. I know.
But get this in your head.
None appreciates. I've realised.
And also. An introvert and an extrovert should never be friends.
Just like me and her.
I still can't believe the fact that i am an INtrovert.
Shit, I m suicidal again.
Stupid fucked up life.
But then again, there's hope. my super small glimpse of hope.
[a stone had been dropped into an abyss and i waited for its interminable fall. im that stone. and the only hope i clung on to, is to NEVER EVER reach the bottom.]
i am here regardless if you need me or not.
im still here. (:
Monday, February 20, 2006
CT1
First day of Common Test. Fairly okay lah. ((:
Tomorrow's Social Studies and History. Oh, and mother tongue.
Been listening to alot of punk rock/emo rock these few days. Don't know why. Maybe it's the lyrics that are filled with meanings. As they say, read between the lines. Although some of the lyrics are not really very understandable. make do!
As you can guess, the punk rock band that I've been prolly listening to the past few days is
My Chemical Romance.
That's how Gerard Way is all scribbled in my organiser.
That's how Helena entered my world.
That's how I'm not okay entered this blog.
That's how my mp3 was filled with punk rock songs again.
BUT. my advise to you people is, don't listen to punk rock. Because it somehow allows yourself to enter the darker side of your soul. But if you insist. Then, go ahead. Im no one, remember?
But just remember to come back to reality. Than, it will be fine. So, go listen all you want. shoo.
You know, every morning, I'll be at the bus terminal. Around 196 and 197 there. Waiting for Mutalib. Somehow, he's always late. haha. But every morning, I'll hear this girl, [i don't wanna say her sch name, it's kinda well known. Their uniforms are similar to our previous one,] shouting hokkien vulgarities in to her phone. And the vulgarities are very similar everyday. It's always,
!@#$%^&*@#$*(!!!! You better faster come here hor?! bloody #$%$^!!
It somehow spoils my lovely morning. Not as if I don't recognise these crude words. But it's just that I've stopped using them ever since sec 2. But now, as far i may go, it's always, The four letter f word. I only use them when i am super pissed. So yeah.
She's a girl afterall. Mind your language. You're in public. You can go home and scold yourself with them, I don't care.
Who says you can't dance to punk rock music?
Helena is 1 best example. Go my friendster profile for that.
So long.
I love everyone.(;
Tomorrow's Social Studies and History. Oh, and mother tongue.
Been listening to alot of punk rock/emo rock these few days. Don't know why. Maybe it's the lyrics that are filled with meanings. As they say, read between the lines. Although some of the lyrics are not really very understandable. make do!
As you can guess, the punk rock band that I've been prolly listening to the past few days is
My Chemical Romance.
That's how Gerard Way is all scribbled in my organiser.
That's how Helena entered my world.
That's how I'm not okay entered this blog.
That's how my mp3 was filled with punk rock songs again.
BUT. my advise to you people is, don't listen to punk rock. Because it somehow allows yourself to enter the darker side of your soul. But if you insist. Then, go ahead. Im no one, remember?
But just remember to come back to reality. Than, it will be fine. So, go listen all you want. shoo.
You know, every morning, I'll be at the bus terminal. Around 196 and 197 there. Waiting for Mutalib. Somehow, he's always late. haha. But every morning, I'll hear this girl, [i don't wanna say her sch name, it's kinda well known. Their uniforms are similar to our previous one,] shouting hokkien vulgarities in to her phone. And the vulgarities are very similar everyday. It's always,
!@#$%^&*@#$*(!!!! You better faster come here hor?! bloody #$%$^!!
It somehow spoils my lovely morning. Not as if I don't recognise these crude words. But it's just that I've stopped using them ever since sec 2. But now, as far i may go, it's always, The four letter f word. I only use them when i am super pissed. So yeah.
She's a girl afterall. Mind your language. You're in public. You can go home and scold yourself with them, I don't care.
Who says you can't dance to punk rock music?
Helena is 1 best example. Go my friendster profile for that.
So long.
I love everyone.(;
Sunday, February 19, 2006
HUGS
i wanna hug everyone i see tomorrow. (:
i hope to.
((:
a friend asked me a question today. I ignored it. but im thinking abt it now.
f: "Be yourself. i like you the way you are."
me: "what?"
f: "You answer this."
Me: "WHAT?"
f: "do you smile because you want to be happy. or you're happy beacuse you smiled?"
ME: Gerard way is hot. (:
*and the convo turns into a quarell on who's hot and who's not.
But that isn't important.
I smile because i want to be happy.
but i wanna be happy because i smiled.
Therefore. Im just gonna smile. and go crazy!! (:
WHEE!!! (:
i hope to.
((:
a friend asked me a question today. I ignored it. but im thinking abt it now.
f: "Be yourself. i like you the way you are."
me: "what?"
f: "You answer this."
Me: "WHAT?"
f: "do you smile because you want to be happy. or you're happy beacuse you smiled?"
ME: Gerard way is hot. (:
*and the convo turns into a quarell on who's hot and who's not.
But that isn't important.
I smile because i want to be happy.
but i wanna be happy because i smiled.
Therefore. Im just gonna smile. and go crazy!! (:
WHEE!!! (:
Saturday, February 18, 2006
death prone
A devastating News.
2nd Sgt Lynette and 1st Sgt Hafizah, both of you are required to come down to NCC HQ on 21st Feb, Tuesday at 1.30pm for you SSC. Details are as follows
Lynette
fd: about turn on the march
ad: shoulder arms from the order
Hafizah
fd: left right turn on the march
ad: saluting to the front at halt
--
I don't feel like going for SSC because
- Im having school. It's a weekday
- School ends at 4pm.
- Im having my common test
- My SS paper ends at 12.30. Followed by my history paper that ends at 1.30pm
- I am not prepared.
- And I will be having my Emaths exam on Wednesday, Therefore, I need time to study.
So many disdvantages for a staff sgt rank. What's more? A larnyard[sp?]?
I called Cheryl after I received the devastating news. Both of us yak and yak and yak over the phone. Complaining here and there. To think about it, It's kinda funny. I then called Hafizah, to tell her the news. But no one picked up the phone. Next, I called Hafeeza. She asked me to call CO to tell her about this. So, I called my CO. But no one picked up. Than, I called Spagh, to ask him what's 'rusok' But he was busy. So, Nvm.
I'll be having Commando training On Monday and I need a rifle. Badly.
Why must they tell us this late?
These are the fucking stuffs and fucking stresses me out on the week before my fucking exams.
This SSC thingy was supposedly to be taken last year. Due to the fact that Cheryl, Hafizah and I went to Australia for the Pearce Airbase visit by NCC, They post-poned our SSC the next week. But next week never came. Until today. The 'next week' will be coming in 3 days time.
How am i suppose to do that when you people fucking changed all my mutuals?
Now, it's a choice.
Either I miss my lessons for 3hrs and get my rank
OR
I don't miss my lessons and don't get my rank.
HELP NEEDED.
im death prone
im not o-fucking-kay.
2nd Sgt Lynette and 1st Sgt Hafizah, both of you are required to come down to NCC HQ on 21st Feb, Tuesday at 1.30pm for you SSC. Details are as follows
Lynette
fd: about turn on the march
ad: shoulder arms from the order
Hafizah
fd: left right turn on the march
ad: saluting to the front at halt
--
I don't feel like going for SSC because
- Im having school. It's a weekday
- School ends at 4pm.
- Im having my common test
- My SS paper ends at 12.30. Followed by my history paper that ends at 1.30pm
- I am not prepared.
- And I will be having my Emaths exam on Wednesday, Therefore, I need time to study.
So many disdvantages for a staff sgt rank. What's more? A larnyard[sp?]?
I called Cheryl after I received the devastating news. Both of us yak and yak and yak over the phone. Complaining here and there. To think about it, It's kinda funny. I then called Hafizah, to tell her the news. But no one picked up the phone. Next, I called Hafeeza. She asked me to call CO to tell her about this. So, I called my CO. But no one picked up. Than, I called Spagh, to ask him what's 'rusok' But he was busy. So, Nvm.
I'll be having Commando training On Monday and I need a rifle. Badly.
Why must they tell us this late?
These are the fucking stuffs and fucking stresses me out on the week before my fucking exams.
This SSC thingy was supposedly to be taken last year. Due to the fact that Cheryl, Hafizah and I went to Australia for the Pearce Airbase visit by NCC, They post-poned our SSC the next week. But next week never came. Until today. The 'next week' will be coming in 3 days time.
How am i suppose to do that when you people fucking changed all my mutuals?
Now, it's a choice.
Either I miss my lessons for 3hrs and get my rank
OR
I don't miss my lessons and don't get my rank.
HELP NEEDED.
im death prone
im not o-fucking-kay.
gee
have been playing bball the last 2 days. i had to vent out my crap. so, i figured that THAT was the best solution.
BUT. I got more pissed when i played cos a few sec 1 girls came and snatch our court. Therefore, me li juan and jannie had somesort and internal quarell with them. But it was funny.
I passed my basketball test. 3/5 shoots. I will make it 5/5 shoots. mwahaha.
Common Test's next week. Monday onwards. sighs.
Participating in Netball for Sports Day. Wish me luck.
I thought of joining Volleyball too. We shall see.
So much hwk to complete
- Descriptive essay.[Describe a moment when you felt helpless.]
- Book review.
- IPP Journal entry
- Chemistry Ten year Series.
- Literature. The Greatest Gift.
- Chinese Compo/Exercise
- Art. Motif drawing
- Biology Ten year series.
I cant even have my sleep on weekends.
Alrights. Next
Gerard Way!! (:
Gerard Way again. ((:
He's obsessed with Death.
But he's so cute.
Gerard Way - My Chemical Romance Lead Singer.
IM NOT STRESS FREE
IM DEATH PRONE.
tata`
BUT. I got more pissed when i played cos a few sec 1 girls came and snatch our court. Therefore, me li juan and jannie had somesort and internal quarell with them. But it was funny.
I passed my basketball test. 3/5 shoots. I will make it 5/5 shoots. mwahaha.
Common Test's next week. Monday onwards. sighs.
Participating in Netball for Sports Day. Wish me luck.
I thought of joining Volleyball too. We shall see.
So much hwk to complete
- Descriptive essay.[Describe a moment when you felt helpless.]
- Book review.
- IPP Journal entry
- Chemistry Ten year Series.
- Literature. The Greatest Gift.
- Chinese Compo/Exercise
- Art. Motif drawing
- Biology Ten year series.
I cant even have my sleep on weekends.
Alrights. Next
Gerard Way!! (:
Gerard Way again. ((:
He's obsessed with Death.
But he's so cute.
Gerard Way - My Chemical Romance Lead Singer.
IM NOT STRESS FREE
IM DEATH PRONE.
tata`
Thursday, February 16, 2006
td
happy total defence day. that was yesterday.
CA is coming up.
Sec 1s can be a real pain in the ass. I was playing basketball today when they just came and snatched the court from us. They shouted at us. Telling us not to disturb them.
And this made me, jannie, lijuan very pissed. SUPER. I mean, afterall, we're still 3 yrs older than you people? or should I say, children?
Remember this. When we were in Sec 1, you guys are just P3. First time taking science.
pea-sized brain.
Anyway, w/c they all went to 'talk' to them. haha. i don't wanna talk about it.
--
Have been skipping meals. Not on a diet or something.
But I have been leading a very unhealthy lifestyle. except for 1 thing. - exercising.
I will always sleep after 12am.
I skip my meals.
Bless me.
--
im sucidal. fcuked up life.
CA is coming up.
Sec 1s can be a real pain in the ass. I was playing basketball today when they just came and snatched the court from us. They shouted at us. Telling us not to disturb them.
And this made me, jannie, lijuan very pissed. SUPER. I mean, afterall, we're still 3 yrs older than you people? or should I say, children?
Remember this. When we were in Sec 1, you guys are just P3. First time taking science.
pea-sized brain.
Anyway, w/c they all went to 'talk' to them. haha. i don't wanna talk about it.
--
Have been skipping meals. Not on a diet or something.
But I have been leading a very unhealthy lifestyle. except for 1 thing. - exercising.
I will always sleep after 12am.
I skip my meals.
Bless me.
--
im sucidal. fcuked up life.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
the greatest gift.
Finished "The Greatest Gift", a story for Literature today. I don't know why, but this story is stucked in my head.
Maybe because it teaches us to cherish life and people around you.
And I hope that little man with mesmerising blue eyes would come and visit me.
In fact, I think I cried after reading the last part. Because I loved the ending. He's one lucky guy.
Try to find it on the internet. The Greatest Gift by Philip Van Doren Stern
School's very interesting today.
"Conducted" a meeting with some of the prefects today. About their duties. Had to relay the message from rukmani that IF anyone doesn't do duty, sack them.
I hate being the in-charge.
I always have to play the bad person.
It rained. I love rain. I almost walk home under the rain today.
Gonna have a motivational talk by some weird people tomorrow. 7.45am-9pm. continuosly for 3 darn days.
hoho. Bless me.
happy 16th birthday spagh.
Maybe because it teaches us to cherish life and people around you.
And I hope that little man with mesmerising blue eyes would come and visit me.
In fact, I think I cried after reading the last part. Because I loved the ending. He's one lucky guy.
Try to find it on the internet. The Greatest Gift by Philip Van Doren Stern
School's very interesting today.
"Conducted" a meeting with some of the prefects today. About their duties. Had to relay the message from rukmani that IF anyone doesn't do duty, sack them.
I hate being the in-charge.
I always have to play the bad person.
It rained. I love rain. I almost walk home under the rain today.
Gonna have a motivational talk by some weird people tomorrow. 7.45am-9pm. continuosly for 3 darn days.
hoho. Bless me.
happy 16th birthday spagh.
Monday, February 06, 2006
wrong time
i know i shouldn't be bloggin right now.
but some how, an invisble magnectic forced drawn me to this webpage again.
okok, i'll cut the crap. I can't slp.
I have not done miss teo's homework. that's equivalent to death. alrights. you may say im testing the system. afterall. she did took my pen and didn't return it since god knws when.
Also, due to Commando's training the prefects had. tsk.
I know. to me it's stupid and lame lah. But then, since the VICE-HEAD-PREFECT insisted on it. The small fry don't really have much say lah k.
Apparently today's commando training cause lots of commotion and unhappiness with the EXCOS and the sec 2s.
god. wai kit is going to complain to me the next morning again. *sigh*
no lah. but than the punishment was too much. really. just because the Sec 4s who went there were mostly from NPCC. k. Only 2. But that was more than enough to kill the whole darn board.
the whole DARN BOARD.
their commando training way of style is harsh and unfair. according to one of the sec 2s blog.
they're FUCKTARDS.
im trying my best not to laugh.
obviously those all came from those you people had trained or "punished"
Hey hey hey, those didn't came from me. Don't go complaining to whoever. Im just a small fry. a darn fucking small fry. [i usually won't say the f-word unless im pissed]. But if you insisted, go ahead.
Don't say Im sarcastic. I knew that. and I placed all the sarcasm on you people.
Moreover, Im in NCC. and Im a Lit student.
i apply what i learn.
Don't side this side just because you think it benefits you. Just cos whomsoever said CT. You all echoed back CT.
Have your own mind. Don't be like a fence sitting deadhead. might as well go and die.
It didn't came from my mouth. But my fingers k.
and most of them. i'm just quoting, from blogs and books.
seroiusly. make peace lah k. PEACE.
really. i can't tahan all these crap.
can;t tahan until all malay words are coming out.
and to SPAGH, u're mean. hmph.
but some how, an invisble magnectic forced drawn me to this webpage again.
okok, i'll cut the crap. I can't slp.
I have not done miss teo's homework. that's equivalent to death. alrights. you may say im testing the system. afterall. she did took my pen and didn't return it since god knws when.
Also, due to Commando's training the prefects had. tsk.
I know. to me it's stupid and lame lah. But then, since the VICE-HEAD-PREFECT insisted on it. The small fry don't really have much say lah k.
Apparently today's commando training cause lots of commotion and unhappiness with the EXCOS and the sec 2s.
god. wai kit is going to complain to me the next morning again. *sigh*
no lah. but than the punishment was too much. really. just because the Sec 4s who went there were mostly from NPCC. k. Only 2. But that was more than enough to kill the whole darn board.
the whole DARN BOARD.
their commando training way of style is harsh and unfair. according to one of the sec 2s blog.
they're FUCKTARDS.
im trying my best not to laugh.
obviously those all came from those you people had trained or "punished"
Hey hey hey, those didn't came from me. Don't go complaining to whoever. Im just a small fry. a darn fucking small fry. [i usually won't say the f-word unless im pissed]. But if you insisted, go ahead.
Don't say Im sarcastic. I knew that. and I placed all the sarcasm on you people.
Moreover, Im in NCC. and Im a Lit student.
i apply what i learn.
Don't side this side just because you think it benefits you. Just cos whomsoever said CT. You all echoed back CT.
Have your own mind. Don't be like a fence sitting deadhead. might as well go and die.
It didn't came from my mouth. But my fingers k.
and most of them. i'm just quoting, from blogs and books.
seroiusly. make peace lah k. PEACE.
really. i can't tahan all these crap.
can;t tahan until all malay words are coming out.
and to SPAGH, u're mean. hmph.
im fine
im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine im not fine.
-----
Uncle George is coming tmr. im gonna be a babysitter again. toddler sitter or children sitter. whatever.
just imagine. at 15 on 16 yr old girl bringing 4 children within the age 8-12 to the playground playing hide n seek and catchin.
you may think its funny. i'll slap your face.
OH. and SPAGH, if you see this searching for you notice. sms me kay. haha. its important. it concerns life and death.
edison chen is hot.
aaron carter is hot.
tom felton is hot
RAIN is HOT!
[desperate or not? you're in my clique.]
oh well. back to HISTORY. if only the above were the historical people instead of mao ze dong, stalin, hitler, empress cixi, emperor puyi, jiang jieshi. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE SO INTERESTING.
but then. if they were in the past. they can't be in the present.
nvm. leave it this way. i like (:
tata.
-----
Uncle George is coming tmr. im gonna be a babysitter again. toddler sitter or children sitter. whatever.
just imagine. at 15 on 16 yr old girl bringing 4 children within the age 8-12 to the playground playing hide n seek and catchin.
you may think its funny. i'll slap your face.
OH. and SPAGH, if you see this searching for you notice. sms me kay. haha. its important. it concerns life and death.
edison chen is hot.
aaron carter is hot.
tom felton is hot
RAIN is HOT!
[desperate or not? you're in my clique.]
oh well. back to HISTORY. if only the above were the historical people instead of mao ze dong, stalin, hitler, empress cixi, emperor puyi, jiang jieshi. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE SO INTERESTING.
but then. if they were in the past. they can't be in the present.
nvm. leave it this way. i like (:
tata.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
pictures
okay. I think my blog is getting too wordy. Therefore. pictures time!! (: my fav
me n kahjun. the LEES (:
boys:kah jun & junhong. girls:jannie and me (:
me, jannie and kahjun!
me and atiqah! i love her and she loves me! (:
the boxer , the gorilla and the human (:
atiqah and me. the unready me. can't u see that atiqah is forever ready? haha. she's born ready!! (:
orites. that's it lah. later the comp will be lagging. hoho
me n kahjun. the LEES (:
boys:kah jun & junhong. girls:jannie and me (:
me, jannie and kahjun!
me and atiqah! i love her and she loves me! (:
the boxer , the gorilla and the human (:
atiqah and me. the unready me. can't u see that atiqah is forever ready? haha. she's born ready!! (:
orites. that's it lah. later the comp will be lagging. hoho
Cny
I went to Malaysia to celebrate Chinese New Year. Went on the 28th Jan and came back on the 31st Jan. 4 days spent there. I don't wish to talk about the train ride. DO NOT. i might just go crazy.
I know I should have been talking about this in one of my earlier entry. But due to so much unhappiness in school. I dragged it lah.
Anyways, going back there is supposedly to be a happy occasion for me because I get to party, play fire crackers and play with chickens and my dog. But when I reached there, 2 buckets of freezing water were splashed against myface and body. [not literally u dumb dumb]
1st thing - My cousin was sick, he was suffering from chicken pox, and it was a taboo at there to celebrate an ocassion is someone was seriously ill. So, parties were being cancelled. and SINCE he was sick, he could not buy much of the firecrackers therefore, very little of firecrackers were being played.
2nd thing - this stupid family dispute about my Tua-Gu[Dajiu or big uncle] and his family. As they were staying in the village side, many houses are settled into one land as long as it doesn't over shoot others. Well. in my situation. 3 houses were built on 1 land. the land is big. You can ride a motorcycle around it. You can play badminton at there, You can even make satay there. So, My dajiu wasn't happy cos he finds that since my xiaojiu has already married. Why is he still staying with my grandma? In his[dajiu] opinion, he sees it as bootlicking. So that when my Grandma pass on, the whole stretch of land will be given to him, my xiao jiu.
So, now tell me. How childish adults can be? Then they argue here and there, quarell here and there. and finally My dajiu refused to give in. And when we,[me,my mom,my dad,my auntie,my cousin-faizal] went back. He closed all the doors and windows. Not allowing us to enter.
Ok lah. I sneaked in a couple of times. Cos I wanted to see my dog. (: They were fine with it, as in no commotion was made when we[me and faizal] went in.
And when my grandma is sick, they don't even bother to come to see her. Not as if they are living 646,525,465,4589 km apart. It's barely 50 steps.
Anyway. At there, I did alot of things that I prolly would not have done in Singapore.
I wore a skirt!! (: haha
I played badminton with my skirt!!
I played SOCCER with my skirt!!
I played MONKEY with my skirt!!
and.. I almost rode a motorcycle with my skirt. [this is not counted]
Crazy right? I know I know.
And we also experience alot of uncanny stuffs there.
We smelt a strong smell of frangipani flowers. [you know what's associated with that. chio bu]
We saw a shadow outside the window around 3 in the morning. and we though it was some tree. But in the next morning, when we opened the windows. Nothing was there. Not even a plant.
Go figure it out yourselves.
for now, i wanna go blog reading! or skin changing. whichever sounds nicer.
I know I should have been talking about this in one of my earlier entry. But due to so much unhappiness in school. I dragged it lah.
Anyways, going back there is supposedly to be a happy occasion for me because I get to party, play fire crackers and play with chickens and my dog. But when I reached there, 2 buckets of freezing water were splashed against myface and body. [not literally u dumb dumb]
1st thing - My cousin was sick, he was suffering from chicken pox, and it was a taboo at there to celebrate an ocassion is someone was seriously ill. So, parties were being cancelled. and SINCE he was sick, he could not buy much of the firecrackers therefore, very little of firecrackers were being played.
2nd thing - this stupid family dispute about my Tua-Gu[Dajiu or big uncle] and his family. As they were staying in the village side, many houses are settled into one land as long as it doesn't over shoot others. Well. in my situation. 3 houses were built on 1 land. the land is big. You can ride a motorcycle around it. You can play badminton at there, You can even make satay there. So, My dajiu wasn't happy cos he finds that since my xiaojiu has already married. Why is he still staying with my grandma? In his[dajiu] opinion, he sees it as bootlicking. So that when my Grandma pass on, the whole stretch of land will be given to him, my xiao jiu.
So, now tell me. How childish adults can be? Then they argue here and there, quarell here and there. and finally My dajiu refused to give in. And when we,[me,my mom,my dad,my auntie,my cousin-faizal] went back. He closed all the doors and windows. Not allowing us to enter.
Ok lah. I sneaked in a couple of times. Cos I wanted to see my dog. (: They were fine with it, as in no commotion was made when we[me and faizal] went in.
And when my grandma is sick, they don't even bother to come to see her. Not as if they are living 646,525,465,4589 km apart. It's barely 50 steps.
Anyway. At there, I did alot of things that I prolly would not have done in Singapore.
I wore a skirt!! (: haha
I played badminton with my skirt!!
I played SOCCER with my skirt!!
I played MONKEY with my skirt!!
and.. I almost rode a motorcycle with my skirt. [this is not counted]
Crazy right? I know I know.
And we also experience alot of uncanny stuffs there.
We smelt a strong smell of frangipani flowers. [you know what's associated with that. chio bu]
We saw a shadow outside the window around 3 in the morning. and we though it was some tree. But in the next morning, when we opened the windows. Nothing was there. Not even a plant.
Go figure it out yourselves.
for now, i wanna go blog reading! or skin changing. whichever sounds nicer.
Friday, February 03, 2006
friend
In that previous post, that hand wasn't mine.
In case some of you were thinking.
and NO. I didn't break my promise. [spag] im a gd girl
---
i love vegetables.
im feeling empty
im so fake.
---
I thought you were my friend.
but it was just another betray.
just another regret.
In case some of you were thinking.
and NO. I didn't break my promise. [spag] im a gd girl
---
i love vegetables.
im feeling empty
im so fake.
---
I thought you were my friend.
but it was just another betray.
just another regret.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
All I want is someone to understand me.
But no one does.
All I want is someone to notice me.
But no one does.
All I want is someone to be there for me.
But no one does.
Everything is corrupted.
Nothing is right anymore
cuts are gonna get deeper. i swear.
im sick of all these nonsensical preconceived idea which is not even true.
kill me.
But no one does.
All I want is someone to notice me.
But no one does.
All I want is someone to be there for me.
But no one does.
Everything is corrupted.
Nothing is right anymore
cuts are gonna get deeper. i swear.
im sick of all these nonsensical preconceived idea which is not even true.
kill me.
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